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Welcome to Cognitive Dissonance Today.

Cognitive Dissonance Today: Rockin’ its peers and puttin’ suckers in fear since 2002 AD.

And now, Cognitive Dissonance Today:

This is from Reuters: “The Rolling Stones will hold their first-ever concert in China in April. Tickets range from $38-$375.”

I’m not sure where to even begin with this story. Which element is more dissonant?

1. The Rolling Stones are still alive, much less playing concerts.
2. The Rolling Stones are playing in China. Or,
3. People in a country where the per capita income is roughly $5000 are going to shell out $375 to see these old farts play “Satisfaction”.

You can’t make this stuff up.

This has been Cognitive Dissonance Today.

Cognitive Dissonance Today is brought to you by a grant from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Retirement Village, and also by a grant from the House of Hunan, bringing great Chinese Cuisine to your neighborhood since anybody can remember.

The fact is, I’m just barely smart enough to understand that I don’t really understand this at all, but it sure is interesting:

Cute cartoon explains a concept that nobody really understands….

Top Five Movie Fights of All Time:

5. “She Wore A Yellow Ribbon” – Victor McGlaglen beats up a whole squad of soldiers, then buys them a drink, then commences to beat them up a second time.

4. “Hooper” – Classic bar fight, in which so many guys get thrown out the window, the last guy throws himself out, just for drill. Features Burt Reynolds and Terry Bradshaw. As campy as campy can get.

3. “Blazing Saddles” – Cowboys, Nazis, Dancers, Alex Karras, and a Pie Fight. ‘Nuff said.

2. “The Quiet Man” – John Wayne and Victor McGlaglen in a brawl that goes from one side of the county to the other; they actually have to take a break so that people from the next town over can be bussed over to watch.

1. “The Presidio” – Not a good movie, but Sean Connery beats up a biker thug in a bar using only his left thumb (”The right one is far to powerful for the likes of you”). Worth the price of admission.

Honorable Mentions:

“McClintock” – An all out brawl in a water-filled mining pit. Mostly I chose it for the line “I’m not gonna hit ya. No, I’m not gonna hit ya. Like hell I’m not.”

“Heartbreak Ridge” – Another brawl in a mining pit. Not a great scene, but I thought Clint Eastwood should be somewhere on the list.

Did I miss anything?

• So, let me get this straight . . . baseball and softball are no longer Olympic sports, but halfpipe snowboarding is?
• Lately, every article about Saddam Hussein’s trial describes him as “Haggard-looking”. I thought this was poor writing, until I saw a photo. Turns out, he really does look like Merle Haggard.
• Doesn’t it say everything that needs to be said about Public Education that attendance is enforced by law?
• in some of the news stories about Dick Cheney accidentally shooting a fellow hunter, some reporters felt it was appropriate to include a quote from Jim and Sarah Brady. As if Mr. Brady was shot during a quail-hunt and not an assassination attmept. American journalists seem to have completely run out of ideas, and to have completely given up even trying to appear objective.
• I think it took courage for Steve Martin to attempt to play Inspector Clouseau. I don’t think it was a good idea, but it certainly took courage. I don’t think it’s possible to do justice to Peter Sellers’ work in that role, but if anyone could, he’s probably the one.
• The more I think about what I would do if I won the lottery, I begin to suspect it would be more trouble than it would be worth. I mean, $200,000,000? What would you do with that much money? I’ll tell you what you’d do, you’d spend the rest of your life answering your doorbell and your telephone, wondering where all the extra relatives came from. Your best bet would be to spend it all in the first week. Debts, gifts, trust funds, charity, tithes, some safe investments, and a nice spread of land where nobody could find you.

Welcome to Cognitive Dissonance Today.

Cognitive Dissonance Today: Down with the young folks since 2004.

And now, Cognitive Dissonance today:
DOHA (AFP) – The radical Palestinian group Hamas joined voices for calm in the international furore sparked by cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed.

Hamas calling for calm.

That’s like Keith Richards teaching a D.A.R.E. class.

This has been Cognitive Dissonance Today.

Cognitive Dissonance Today has been made possible by a grant by the International Irony Fund . . . The International Irony Fund – Doing things you didn’t see coming, and probably wouldn’t have suspected.

This is unconscionable.

NEW YORK -(Dow Jones)- Yahoo Inc. supplied personal information to Beijing authorities on a Chinese dissident who was sentenced to a harsh prison term, according to a press freedom group. Reporters Without Borders said Wednesday that cyber-dissident Li Zhi, who was given an eight-year prison sentence in December 2003, was convicted based on electronic records that Yahoo provided to the government, citing a plea by Li’s lawyer, Zhang Sizhi.

Welcome to Cognitive Dissonance Today.

I’ve been offended by portrayals of Jesus in the popular media before.

But guess what? Somehow, I got through it without committing arson and murder.

Was that wrong of me? Does this make me a bad Christian? Should I go on a killing spree next time?

This has been Cognitive Dissonance Today.

(This edition brought to you by the Danish Council of Newspaper Editors)

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